3:33 a.m.

Sunday May 2nd, 3:33 am

This is the third time I've woke up after having a familiar dream then wake-up roll over and it's 3:33 am. The house is quiet, all are asleep, not a creature was stirring, well except me, Dickens has got nothing on this. I am waking from a dream in which I am having one of my last conversations with my buddy Rob, who died tragically in a car accident about 6 weeks ago. Let me set the scene: He called me up and made plans to get dropped off from his carpool from Alamosa and hang-out with me until I was done at the clinic and then I'd give him a ride to church where he'd meet his family. He sat in the the left chair in the consultation room and I in the chair across the desk and we had just a chat about life, how things were going and we were interrupted a couple times for me to go and treat the last few patients of the day. He would patiently sit and wait for my return, texting someone occasionally until I was done. In my dreams he is sitting back, his bottom lip curled up with his half cocked grin, eye squint, and will say with a bit of a head lift, 'dude, how's life?' I will share the frustrations and joys, successes and pitfalls and each time right before I wake, he'll give me say, 'It's all good man'

Now I can't tell you how much I would like to have that conversation again in real life, but I can't, so I will cherish the ones I have only in my head and heart per se. We often find ourselves being bombarded with negativity and of course this often comes from within as well as from without. I recently had the experience of hugging on one of my girls as she cried in my arms as she felt she wasn't good at anything and at that moment, I try to console her with reason and logic, but to her at that time, emotion was law and reason was out the window. My son, being either the inquisitive or provoker that he can be, asked why is she so sad when she is so talented at so many things. What I told him is that women often thing in emotions, in that it's not the facts that are important, but how she feels about the facts of the situation. So that's why emotion and reason can not occupy the same place at the same time. I learned that from a wise Dr. Owen. So I told him that if he could grasp that it would make his interaction with the other four women in our house better and those he may one day meet and want to have a relationship with, when I said that I lost him, he was too grossed out at that thought to listen to Dad anymore.

I share this because just two days later we had a chance crossing paths with one of my daughter's track coaches and she shared with us that she had gotten a 69 second 400 m time at the last meet. I was so excited and realized and shared with her that if she could run it that fast in 8th grade, just wait until you get your legs and learn how to run. That day logic and hope won out and just because she came in behind someone else each time so far, she had skills that could be developed.

I share that with you as it was laughed about in my dream conversation with Rob. In how I shared my frustrations about life, not having enough to pay for all the basics and all the wants, and had to juggle to keep things in balance at times, and wondering if I was really making an impact for my family as I know I have helped a whole lot of folks over the years, but I am haunted by the few I couldn't. He said these amazing words to me in my dream, 'You made an impact on me' posed almost like a question with the raising of the voice on the 'me.' Then I woke up.

I want you as you read this to glean from my 3:33am moments, to reflect on the those you love and those you interact with on a regular basis on how well am I purposefully putting positive and messages of hope and love into their life. Am I making this relationship a symbiotic or a win-win deal or is there a looser in this deal? Tell people you appreciate them, and be specific with your praise, praise them over things that only you would know about. Pour life into people, instead of sucking the life out of them, and cherish the moments, hold on to them and try not to let them go. Our baby recently likes to to tell us if she is not getting her way, "you're not not being very nice" (of course she used this on me last evening with I wouldn't let her have more candy right before bed)

There is a song out on the radio called 'Blink' and I think it's Brandon Heath who sings it, but not sure, but some of the lyrics are 'It happens in in a blink, it happens in a flash. It happens in the time it takes to look back. I try to hold on tight, but there's no stopping time. What is it I've done with my life? It happens in a blink' When you look back make more moments that you love to recall instead of those you regret. Love people without reservation or conditions as the Golden rule says, 'Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.'

Until next time...